How Yoga Makes You a Better Lover

by | Sep 10, 2013 | Beginner Yoga, Couples Retreat, Couples Yoga, Romantic Date Ideas, Spirituality

Guest Post by Ashley Josephine Herzberger

If practicing yoga for its calm-inducing, stress-reduction, weight loss, flexibility-increasing and/or fitness maintenance benefits doesn’t strike your fancy, fret not – you don’t have to practice yoga for any of those reasons. If, however, you want to be a better lover, you may want to reconsider.

Inherent in the magic spell of yoga is its ability to calm you down, connect you to yourself, the present moment and those around you, and help you feel less reactive, aggressive and more open, loving and appreciative. Being a better lover involves shifting from a space of reactive defensiveness to receptive openness.

5 Ways Yoga Makes You A Better Lover

How yoga makes you a better lover

How yoga makes you a better lover

  1. Relaxation

To be a good lover, we must move away from our fast-paced, high-stress state when we come home to our partner and families. Staying in a stressful state is dangerous as it leads to chronic stress, which can manifest as physical, mental and emotional pain down the road. You’ve probably known someone who’s had a breakdown, a hospital scare or an illness brought on and amplified by stress.

Yoga helps you relieve stress, as it focuses not only on physical poses that stretch and strengthen the body but also because it focuses on breathing, which counters cortisol (the stress chemical) released in the body. Anything you can do to release your stress will help you be more available to love your partner and enjoy his or her company.

Plus, to have good sex, you must know how to relax. It’s a physiological fact.

 

  1. Giving AND Receiving

Yoga also teaches you how to give and receive. Practicing yoga can be very challenging, but also extremely rewarding. Understanding the balance between pushing yourself to your limits and easing off to receive the benefits of relaxation during a yoga class is similar to the play between giving and receiving between partners.

Couples yoga is especially beneficial, as most poses require each partner to communicate and work together before either partner can experience the true benefits of the pose. While understanding balance for yourself is a big win, learning how to understand it between you and your partner is a relationship saver.

 

  1. Strength

It’s hard to argue that yoga does not make you strong. Many a muscly man walks into a yoga class skeptical about such “sissy” workouts, only to leave drenched in his own sweat, appalled at how hard yoga actually can be and somewhat ashamed that his big muscles couldn’t power him through the same poses petite ladies all around him naturally and effortlessly complete.

Besides the physical strength and tone yoga can provide to the body (and the eyes of your partners), the emotional and mental strength yoga builds must not be neglected. Emotionally, yoga makes you less reactive and more receptive, less assuming and more questioning, less freaking out and more calm and in control.

Oh, and women, it also helps you tone up your pelvic floor muscles, which happens to be one component of experiencing better orgasm.

  1. Connection

Practicing yoga by yourself also strengthens your connection to your Self and your spirit. There is nothing religious about yoga in and of itself, but you can certainly feel more connected to God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, Mohammed, Abraham, whoever.

Practicing yoga with your partner naturally makes you feel more connected to your partner. Besides the fact that you get a full session of yoga touching each other for the majority of the time, you get to experience gentle, relaxing and compassionate touch. For some couples, this is a rarity.

  1. Focus & Self-control

Finally, yoga helps you increase your focus and self-control. What does this have to do with making you a better lover? Increasing your focus helps you perform better at work but also helps you pay more attention to your significant other. It helps you put down the phone and get rid of distractions so that you can better connect with your partner.

Increasing self-control comes from the mental and emotional benefits of yoga, but also a particular muscular engagement called mula bandha. Similar to a Kegel exercise, engaging mula bandha holds your energy in, rather than allowing it to flow out, if you get my gist men. Over time, this increased focus and self-control can account for longer and more enjoyable sack sessions.

Whether you’re looking to feel more connected to your partner, be a better person for yourself and others, increase strength and flexibility, decrease stress and anxiety or just have better sex, yoga can definitely help you out on all fronts.

For more information and research about how yoga makes you a better lover, check out these articles from Psychology Today, Harvard Health Publications, and Men’s Health.

Guest Post by Ashley Josephine Herzberger

Ashley Josephine Herzberger helps busy women relax. She integrates yoga, meditation, energy practices and self-care exercises to empower women to redefine and rediscover balance in their work and lives. She recently published her first ebook, available for free download on her website, “The Unconventional Beginner’s Guide to Yoga.” Check out her online yoga community for women at AshleyJosephine.com.