by Jasmine | Apr 2, 2012 | Date Night, eBooks, Family Counseling, Reviews, Romantic Date Ideas
1000 Questions Married Couples Should Ask before “I do”
What if you had asked your husband or wife 1000 questions before you got married? What kinds of premarital counseling or classes for couples did you take if any?
Although I have a lot of issues with the Catholic Church stances on many issues, one modern practice that is to be commended is their practice of classes for couples before getting married. How much do couples really dive in deep and ask uncomfortable questions about how they will live their lives together. Do couples ask each other things like what temperature would you ideally want the house to be set at in winter and summer? Another resource I love is 1000 questions before Marriage, which is a book that lists all kinds of questions like the ones below. It also gives guidelines on when to ask the questions.
Other men and women have been shocked to learn what their mate thought about sex, religion, careers, household work, money and the future. In fact, many of these differences have led couples to divorce court. Married couples could cut down on a lot of their clashes if they knew more ab
out their mate’s thoughts, beliefs and emotions. The best way to get to really know someone is with questions.
You need to use a certain amount of wisdom with these 1,000 questions. Someone who has just begun dating shouldn’t accelerate the relationship by starting off with questions on marriage and sex.
Obviously, you wouldn’t ask this to someone unless you are in a committed relationship or close to having one but at what point is it appropriate to start to bring these issues up? How can you really know someone’s life values, beliefs without really having deep conversations about them or having to experience them directly when you are thrust in the situation?
1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”
How often do you think we should take a vacation? Would we take it just the two of us or would we leave the kids with grandparents or baby-sitters so we can just focus on the two of us? Once we have kids, how often will we plan on having a date night with no kids?
What about the sensitive subject of in-laws? How close or far away or close will we live from our families? How involved do we want them to be in events like weddings, christianings, how we raise our kids, baby-sitting our kids? Do we need them to call before they come over ( if they live close by) or is it ok if they just knock on the door? What kind of boundaries do we want with our extended families? If we live far away, how often will we travel out to see them? How often do we want them to come over and visit us? Will they stay with us or at a hotel?
What about religion? Will one of us convert? Who will that be and how will that be decided? If the other does not convert, how do celebrate religious holidays? If the holidays falls around the same time such as Easter and passover or hanukkah and Christmas, how do we celebrate them? For our kids, how do we teach them about both of our faiths? Are we going to send our children to religious school? What priority do religious holidays have in our lives?
What about money? Will we share bank accounts or maintain separate ones? Do we also have a joint account? If there is a primary breadwinner does that person have more power and control over the household finances or do we share that equally? Do we set a monthly budget? How much savings will we have every month? If one of us has a lot of debt do we pay that off jointly or individually? How do we decide how to spend our money each month? Should we run major purchases by each other first? How do we decide what a major purchase is?
What about where to live? Do we want to live in a house, condo or apartment? Do we want to live in a more urban area, more suburban area or out in the countrywide? Do we want to live part of the time in one city and have a vacation home in another city or country? Will we do our own yard-work or hire someone to do gardening? How important is it to us that our house is in top condition? Do we want to spend money on major repairs so that our house is always in top condition or is that less of a priority? Will we do some repairs ourselves like painting and refinishing or will we hire someone to help us with that?
What about your social life? Do we like to go out a lot to to restaurants, bars, dancing, movies and other cultural events or are we going to focus on savings and business matters and sacrifice going out as much? How late do we like to stay out? Do we like to go out just the two of us or do we prefer to go out with friends and family? How often do we want to socialize with close friends and family?
What about health and wellness matters? Are we going to spend more time and money on eating healthy and staying fit or are we going to relax in our off time and get prepared food and take-out? Who is going to do the cooking and how will we decide that? What kinds of foods do we want to eat on a regular basis? Does one of us have any dietary restrictions and how accommodating will our mate be to them?
1000 Questions Before You Get Married
What about pets? Do we have any allergies to pet? If yes, then are you prepared to give up an animal or not have a certain kind of animal for your partner? If we adopt a pet, what kind of pet will we adopt? How do we figure out how to share in taking care of it? How much of a priority will out pet be? Do we plan our day, vacations around our pet or take them with us? If our pet starts to get sick will we invest a lot of money in taking care of it? Will out pet sleep in our bed with us? Are they allowed up on the furniture?
I believe a lot less couples would get divorced (or even not marry each other in the first place) if they actually knew each other well enough before they got married.
What are your thoughts on pre-marital counseling? What do you wish you had asked before you had gotten married? Post your thoughts on our Facebook page.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many marriage retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.
RECENT BLOG POSTS
- Sleeping with Your Enemy or Shooting Your Enemy? My Review of SaveTheMarriage.com
- 1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”
by Jasmine | Mar 30, 2012 | Couples Yoga, Date Night, Yoga DVDs, & Podcasts
Couples Yoga Poses
If you are sick of sitting on your couch and deciding whether to watch Dancing with the Starts or Jersey Shore together then connect soulfully and playfully with your sweetie with couples yoga poses. No need to be a contortionist or wear a loin cloth, these are poses that all body types, from the unathletic and inactive to the stiff and inflexible can do. Remember that it is yoga practice and not yoga perfect so let go of the need to do the pose perfectly. You’re not going to be photographed for the cover of YogaJournal so let go of expectations and judgements that you might have for yourself and for your partner.
Start by sitting back to back in a comfortable cross-legged position and just start to notice your breathing. Then start to notice the rise and fall of your partner’s breath. See if you can can synchronize your breathing pattern with your partner’s breathing pattern.
Let your head tilt back and lean back on the crook between their neck and their shoulder. This is a small but powerful stretch for your neck so don’t be aggressive or move quickly here. Repeat on the other side.
Here are some of my favorite couples yoga poses.
Standing up grab onto your partner right forearm and start to walk your feet towards then and then start to lean away. Reach your left arm up into the arm behind you and lean back. Men should let the women lean back first and then modulate your weight around her so she can be balanced. Come back to center and change arms and repeat on the other side. Do this sequence a few times and you will start to be able to lean back farther. This pose almost feels like you are flying if you can lean back far enough. You’ll start to trust and find your partner trusting you more with their body in this pose. It’s a very liberating pose.
Be seated on the floor facing your partner. Have your legs bent with your feet on the floor. Grab onto their hands or forearms with a firm grip. Have your legs inside of your arms at first. Press the soles of your feet together and press them straight up into the sky for boat pose. You might have your legs bent here and if there is a big leg length discrepancy then you might have your feet on their calves.
For the next variation of this pose, have your legs outside of your arms but close to your arms. If you legs are farther away then this probably will not end up feeling too good for your hips. Press the soles of your feet together so and extend your legs straight up into the ceiling. Keep your legs near your arms. If you want a more advanced variation then grab your right hand to their right hand and reach back with your left arm. Bring your left arms to their left arm, get a nice firm grip and reach back with your right arm. This is a challenging pose but most people can do this pose if they don’t overthink it.
For DVDs of my favorite couples yoga and partner yoga moves, read this blog post.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many budget couples retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.
by Jasmine | Mar 28, 2012 | Couples Retreat, Couples Yoga, Date Night, Family Counseling
Marriage Retreats in PA
For those looking for a marriage retreat in PA near Philadelphia there are so many beautiful locations within a short drive or train ride such as the Poconos.
Here are the factors you want to consider.
Distance – Do you want something that is convenient and just an hour or two drive away? Are you looking for something more remote that might end up being more affordable? Are you able to leave for your retreat at a time that you won’t get stuck in rush hour? Nothing kills googly eyes and coo-ing sounds like a bad traffic jam
Activities – Do you want to be really active with hiking, biking, yoga or swimming or are you content to just lounge around a fireplace and sleep until noon? Do you want the retreat to be structured with speakers and group workshops or do you want to be more independent and spontaneous. If it is a marriage retreat you will want to find plenty of activities that you will want to do together and not just go off and he is fishing the whole time while you are taking pilates classes.
Cost – Are you looking for something that is luxurious and not as conscious about saving money or do you need something that is more wallet-friendly? If you are more budget conscious then you can start subscribing to lists like Groupon or Living Social and see what kind of travel deals they have.
If you are more particular about a certain area or property then you can monitor terms like “Marriage Retreat PA” or “Poconos Getaway” on twitter alerts so that anytime this term gets mentioned on social media (often that happens because there is some kind of discount or offer involved) you will get these delivered to your inbox as one message instead of having to search for them every day.) I used this tactic when we were traveling to Las Vegas and was looking to see if there were any discounts that were being offered.
Adult Only – Are you looking to get away from the kids and want peace and quiet or are you going to bring the kids along and need lots of kid-friendly activities like swimming and arts and crafts? Is there child-care services on premises so that you can leave the noisy ones with them as the two of you have your couple time?
Amenities– Are you looking for something luxurious with all touches likes mints on your pillows or is something rustic and cozy (which will also mean lower-cost) more up your alley? Do you have to be at a place that has WIFI so you can stay connected or do you want to be unplugged and unbothered?
Couples Retreats in PA near Philadelphia
Weather – If the retreat is at a remote location, then you’ll have to factor bad weather ( especially in winter) could hinder your plans. Find out about how good or bad the roads are as well as the refund policy in case of inclement weather. If you are going in the middle of summer are there activities like swimming or classes indoors in case it gets too intense to hike around in 95 heat with humidity that feels like a wet blanket? If it is in the middle of winter, then make sure there are plenty of fun indoors activities so you don’t just feel like you have cabin fever.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many budget couples retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.
by Jasmine | Mar 20, 2012 | Couples Yoga, Date Night
Relationship Questions For Couples
What romantic couples questions before marriage did you ask your significant other?
What do you think would have happened with Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries if they had asked each other more in depth questions about the kind of lifestyle they wanted to have together? They didn’t even talk about such basic things such as where they were going to live and what was going to happen to Kim’s career once they started to have children. Do you think it would have ended after those fateful 72 days if they had just not been blinded by the $18 million wedding extravaganza and concentrated more on their future marriage instead of just their wedding?
Conversation Questions for Couples
Kim K has taken a lot of heat for having such a casual marriage but she is really a mirror or what many of us find at fault in our own relationships. Most of us won’t think of the hard questions that have to do with things such as money, career, raising children, in-laws, religion, where to live, how to vacation, food and diet, what inspires us and what scares us before marriage.
So what romantic couples questions did you ask your significant other when you were first getting to know each other? Besides all the obvious small talk questions were you able to dive in and ask other questions?
Relationship Questions For Couples
How To Use the Questions for Couples
You need to use a certain amount of wisdom with these 1,000 questions. Someone who has just begun dating shouldn’t accelerate the relationship by starting off with questions on marriage and sex. If you don’t think you and your partner are quite ready to commit to one another, it would be best to start off with the questions on personality, your past experiences, favorites and perhaps pets. The best relationships are built on a solid friendship, so first address the questions that will help build that base.
Some people will want to answer four or five questions in a sitting. Others might like to spend several hours and answer 50 or more. Some people will want to put the questions in letters and mail them to each other on the same day so their answers don’t influence each other’s. Those with computers might find email to be a good way to get to know each other (and even keep the emails for future reference).
Here are samples of questions to ask before marriage.
What sort of reaction do you have when you get very upset?
Is there anything that makes you feel homesick, nostalgic or sentimental?
1,000 Questions for Couples
Do you have an idol? Do you try to model yourself after him or her in some way?
Do you think that you are able to calmly and wisely react in emergencies?
Do you take your pets with you on short trips? Long vacations? Do you put them in a kennel or have a friend watch them?
Do you generally make to-do lists? Would you like it or would you be offended if your mate helped you make a to-do list?
How do you think I could enjoy life more?
What do you like most about my personality?
How do you feel about pets being in the bedroom or sleeping on your bed?
What is your favorite ethnic cuisine?
Do you remember what your favorite childhood books were?
What makes you feel important?
How would you rate your maturity level among your peers?What are some examples of emergencies you have had?
Do you like your first name? Have you ever wished you had a different name? What name would it be?
Do you ever think that your partner gives more time, love and affection to a child or pet and does it makes you jealous?
Which do you think should have the final say in decisions – logic or emotions? Why?
In what circumstances do you feel most at peace?
How do you think I handle myself when I’m in a crisis situation?Do you have a dream that repeats itself again and again? What is it?
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For free articles about yoga mailed once a month, email info at synergybyjasmine dot com with “Request Yoga Tips” in headline.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many marriage retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.
Romantic questions for a future husband or wife
by Jasmine | Mar 6, 2012 | Couples Retreat, Couples Yoga, Date Night, Romantic Date Ideas, Spirituality
Looking for Yoga and Retreats near Philadelphia, NJ or PA?
There are so many areas of natural beauty in the surrounding countryside of the Philly Metro Area. West Chester, Lancaster County and Chester County all have
Scenic trails at Tenemos Retreat Center
beautiful rolling hills where you can enjoy the stillness of nature and ponder and contemplate. There is something very revitalizing about being in the stillness of nature. It actually recharges you to be surrounded by the oxygen that trees produce. Have you ever noticed how just being near a waterfall invigorates you? That is because there are tons of negative ions that are produced when there is a waterfall and also just before a rainstorm? This actually has many proven health benefits and some electric air purifiers use this ionization technology to cleanse the air in your home.
Before you go on a retreat make sure what is included in the cost. Is food, snacks, drinks included? Do you have to bring your own yoga mats, blankets and other props? Is it really luxurious like the Four Seasons or is it bare bones and rustic? What will happen in the case of inclement weather? Can you reschedule or do you get a refund? What is the refund policy in case an emergency comes up or you get sick? How easy or difficult is the retreat to find? Are you able to find it on your GPS? You always should print out a map before driving out in the countryside to a retreat since a GPS doesn’t always track it correctly and you might not get cell phone coverage way out in the boondocks.
Fire-side snuggling at Tenemos Retreat Center near West Chester, Pa
If you were looking to get away with your sweetie but can’t afford or justify a weekend where you stay overnight someplace, what about a yoga workshop where you do romantic poses for couples or partners? Before you go just make sure it is a workshop suitable for beginners and that it is not overly physically demanding. Some types of partner yoga are actually acrobatic yoga where you are holding up all your partner’s weight on your feet and you are actually flying them. I wouldn’t recommend this for those that are not athletic or are not seasoned yoga students since you need a fair amount of body awareness in order to balance another person on your feet.
Make sure the poses are gentle and beginner friendly. Most first time yoga students have a fair amount of anxiety and fear before their first yoga class so it is always better to have a class that feel gentle and accessible so that the yoga newbie won’t be freaked out at all the weird contortions that some very advanced yogis can get their body in.
Many of the romantic poses for couples let you find a deeper sense of kinesthetic support from your partner and you will find you can move through fear and issues of mistrust and start to open up to support. It can be a very emotionally vulnerable experience so you would not want to do these kinds of poses on a first or second date but with someone that you are already committed to since you will explore more depth in your connection together that might not be appropriate for someone you don’t know that well. Most couples yoga classes will also have guided Thai massage lessons as well which can be so nurturing and healing.
My favorite type of snow, beautifully covers the grass and trees with a light blanket.
For free articles about yoga mailed once a month, email info at synergybyjasmine dot com with “Request Yoga Tips” in headline.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many yoga and retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the 100 best spiritual websites list.
RECENT BLOG POSTS
- Sleeping with Your Enemy or Shooting Your Enemy? My Review of SaveTheMarriage.com
- 1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”
by Jasmine | Mar 1, 2012 | Couples Retreat, Couples Yoga, Date Night, Meditation, Spirituality, Yoga Retreat
Are you looking for retreats close to Philadelphia, New York and New Jersey for Yoga, Spirituality and Meditation?
The morning Tai Chi by the steamy Lake at The Omega Institute
There the Omega Institute for those looking for retreats close to Philadelphia. The Omega Institute is particularly close to my heart since this is where I met my now-hunky, hottie hubby about 4 years ago. Omega, another non-profit, is located in Rhinebeck, NY, a few hours outside of NYC. Interesting factoid, Rhinebeck is also where Chelsea Clinton got married. Michael and I first met in the cafeteria. I was in a foul mood, not wanting to interact, just wanted to be a recluse and focus on my spiritual growth program that I was taking that weekend. I think it was called ” Living Courageously”.
We had an uneventful first meeting. We just talked about the usual subjects that people that don’t know each other well talk about like where we are from, where we work and why we came to Omega. I was actually recovering from a bad breakup and didn’t want to disclose that to this stranger so I was fairly tight-lipped in our first few conversations.
We kept running into each other at Omega…. just walking around the beautiful grounds or at the cafeteria. Before one of the Saturday night concerts we ended up just snuggling on a hammock while watching the fireflies light up the moonlight sky. It was quite a memorable first “date”. I wonder how many people can say that just were on a hammock snuggling while watching fireflies on their first date.
Founded in 1977, Omega is a center for wellness, spiritual and personal growth. Omega offers a bunch of educational experiences that inspire an integrated approach to personal, spiritual and social change. It is located beautiful Hudson Valley. If you are in NYC, then I recommend traveling by train since the train will have such a stunning view of the Hudson.
Omega has been a pioneer in exploring, teaching, and embracing new ideas, focusing on health and wellness, personal spiritual growth, and self-awareness. According to their website, Omega offers, “A journey of personal growth and spiritual development also contributes to the wholeness and balance of the larger community and beyond. At Omega, we like to say we are changing the world one person at a time.”
There are a few places that I would recommend. The Himalayan Institute is probably the closest. The Himalayan Institute is located in northeastern Pennsylvania, 6 miles north of the town of Honesdale in the heart of the rolling hills of the Poconos. New York City and Philadelphia area bout 3 – 4 hours drive by car. (Add an extra hour driving time during rush hour.) The total air/ground trip may be faster and less expensive to the New York airports than to the Scranton airport. It’s kind of near the corner of Pennsylvania where New Jersey and New York state are.
The Himalayan Institute has program for yoga, meditation, spirituality, and holistic health. It’s actually a non-profit, international organization and it’s mission is dedicated to serving humanity through educational, spiritual, and humanitarian programs. It has spiritual heritage that unites East and West with spirituality and science, and ancient wisdom and modern technology. There are a few programs on it’s website that you can also peruse if you can’t make the trek out there.
There are quite a few programs that are free if you are a Premium member which costs $300 a year. If you live within 2-3 hours of the Institute and can make room in your calender every few months then it is probably worth it to just become a premium member.
They have all kinds of educational programs and services and you can actually live at the Institute for a short or long term study. A yoga teacher that taught at one of the studios I also taught at, lived at the Himalayan Institute after her divorce to study yoga and meditation. It was quite a transformative and cleansing experience. You can also just come for a day workshop or weekend workshop and there are a fair amount of online and also correspondence courses.
Their goals is to offer programs that reflect,” The art of joyful living lies at the core of the Institute’s teachings. All of our programs lead to this common goal – living a peaceful and happy life.”
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