by Jasmine | Jan 7, 2013 | Couples Yoga, eBooks, Fifty Shades of Grey, How To Keep The Intimacy Alive
My review of Fifty Shades of Grey
Taking a break from my normal posts about yoga, wellness and other things holistic to talk about my new obsession which I share with about 35 million other people in dozens of other countries – Fifty Shades of Grey.
I’ve heard a lot about this book the last year and no doubt you have unless you were living in a tent in the Himlayas with no WIFI or contact with any other human being on the current planet. I remember my friend a year ago was telling me about the book and I he could say all flushed and fevered looking was ” That book…. WOW!” No much of a review and it didn’t really sell me on it.
So how did I end up buying this book? I wasn’t seeking out to read it. These days, most the books I read are non-fiction about business, marketing, yoga, health and wellness. We had just bought some stuff on Amazon and the total was $42. The shipping was about $16 unless your order total was $50 so I looked at the cost of the book, I needed something to read on the airplane for my flight out to San Diego anyway and found it for $8. I didn’t think much of it and I wasn’t even that excited about starting to read it.
So about 3 weeks later I started it on my return flight from Philadelphia to San Diego, I actually had forgotten about it on my outward bound flight. What a flight that was. Even the whining and screaming of obnoxious toddlers on the plane couldn’t get distracted. I was sitting next to a conservative looking woman on the first leg of my flight and for the second leg was seated next to a young man in his late 20s. I felt kind of strange reading this book next to a strange man, I kept worrying that he would start to read my book along with me but it was too engrossing to put down or to care what anyone else thought.
What is it about this book with it’s kinky sex acts and with taboo subjects like bondage, submission, corporal punishment, enslavement, sadism, loss of innocence, and masochism that gets your soccer mom’s panties all in a twist? When I put the book down for brief moments I felt myself completely lost in the Anastasia’s and Christian world, jet-setting, fine dining, private jets, masquerade balls in Seattle.
Who wouldn’t want to be the innocent and beguiling Anastasia Steele who utterly captivates the untamed and devilish billionaire Tycoon Christian Grey? What would that be like to have a strapping 27 year old with abs and eyes like Ryan Gosling (I vote for him to play him in the movie) courting, protecting, spoiling and obsessing over them? What would that be like to have someone make sure all of your needs from your physical fitness needs in the form of setting up a personal trainer, your transport needs (a new Audi? Guten Tag!) , personal beauty services arranged (waxing and haircuts at the privacy of your home arranged) as well as the finest and most expensive haute couture fashion bought for you (without you even having to go out and buy it…. the personal shopper comes to you) as well as having 24 hour security keeping you out of harm’s way?
It’s all the trappings of wealth, power and status that attracts Ana to Christian but his dark past and obsessive jealous also suffocates her.
I am about midway through the trilogy. I have finished the first book and am about half way through the second book. I’m sure a few days from now I will be half way through the third book.
Would it be worth it to you to lose your independence, sense of self and loss of boundaries of personal and emotional space to have an obsessive, dark, demonic, torrid, all-engrossing and completely overwhelming and insanely jealous life long love affair like Anastasia and Christian do?
by Jasmine | Oct 7, 2012 | Couples Yoga
On Saturday, Michael and I went to the TEDx event in Phoenixville, a suburb outside of Philadelphia. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design and puts on programs all over the country with live speakers that aim to spark deep self-inquiry, discussion and connections with your local community. They also have TED salons that bring people together to talk about ideas as well.
TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At TEDx Phoenixville,
Before the TEDx event, there were all kinds of events the night before meant to foster community and so you can get together with other participants and speakers. We went to an Art warehouse VIP event where we got to know one of the speaker from Saturday’s events and we also got to know a self-described “savant” who works with obscure and difficult to diagnose auto-immune and gastro-intestinal disorders and many of his patients consider him the “doctor of last resort.”
The day started out with the theme of ” Your Backyard”. One of the first speakers was a a guy that used to trade bonds and derivatives and now owns a 350 acre farm and he spoke about sustainability. Some of the other speakers spoke on topics such as motivating employees using techniques that online video gamers get to see. Another zippy young woman has just gotten back from Tanzania and she started a self-sustaining orphanage there and spoke about her connection to her community there. We saw a modern dance performance that was very performance-art-esque. We also heard from the gardening guy on NPR, Mike McGrath about gathering leaves, shredding them and using them to create better compost for your gardens. I never thought hearing about worms would be so interesting. We also got to hear from an urban historian who explores sewers and climbs bridges from Manhattan to Moscow.
When was the last time you heard about an idea worth spreading? What ideas do you have that you would like to spread? What’s stopping you from spreading them?
There were also some videos of other TED events from all over the country and one was from a woman who had just lost someone very close to her. She lives in New Orleans and was wondering how she could turn a neglected building into a socially meaningful place where people could reflect on what they wanted to accomplish before they die. She helped to create a part of the building as a huge chalkboard with the phrases, ” Before I die, I want to..” The phrases ended with things such as ” get my wife back”, to “make a difference” to “be tried for piracy”. At the TEDx event, there was a faux white picket fence where we could all write on there what we wanted to do before we die. I think I wrote up there, ” go cage-shark diving with great white sharks” and “swim in a lake of non-stinging jellyfish in Indonesia”.
The most impactful speaker of the day was the one that came to the stage in a wheelchair. He spoke about his experience with a debilitating and life-shortening disease called Frederich’s Ataxia and how instead of just wallowing in pity, he decided to get on his bike and start biking hundreds and then thousands of miles all over the country in order to raise awareness and build community. I saw lots of teary eyes by the end of his speech and he received a standing ovation.
What kinds of ideas in the area of technology, entertainment or design would you like to spread?
by Jasmine | Apr 20, 2012 | Couples Yoga, Date Night, Partner Yoga, Yoga DVDs, & Podcasts
Intimacy Ideas for Couples – Yoga – Doing It Together
Partner Yoga – Doing It Together
Intimacy – Into Me You See
If your couch is starting to get a permanent imprint from you sitting there it may be time to mix things up with a buoyant and bonding couple yoga session. With all the date night activities out there, most of them involve the two of you watching some kind of performance, often in the dark where the two of you are not interacting and not focused on each other for most of the evening.
Other date night activities can often be in crowded noisy places such as bar or concert which makes it harder to hear and focus on each other. Even just going out to a restaurant you often get interrupted many times by the waiter asking for your order (I don’t know about you but it always irritates me when I am in the midst of an in-depth topic and the waiter just butts in asking if we want to get a drink instead of pausing a few moments to and giving us some space to conclude our sentence or conversation.
My hottie, hellenic, hubby and I started practicing partner yoga, our sessions would be mixed with poses that were strengthening, restorative, balancing, silly, and challenging. We would often just experiment with movement and shapes and create or modify traditional poses. We find that the practice, helps to balance out upsets and disagreements that we had earlier in the week. All those times that you wanted to whack your partner across the head with a frying pan, start to dissolve in a practice that is about supporting, nurturing and soothing and finding intimacy for each other.
Here are some of my Reviews of some of my favorite Couples Yoga DVDs and Books
Here are some tips on how to be a good yoga partner.
Practicing Yoga Together – Intimacy Ideas for Couples
Hygiene – Before your practice, you should be clean and brush your teeth. How fun is it to grab someone’s arm that is sticky and sweaty or hold someone’s foot that smells like the ebola? Since you will be in close proximity to your partner, skip the tuna fish sandwich with extra onions right before your practice also.
Limitations – If one of you is much more athletic or flexible than the other then don’t expect your partner to be able to do some of the balancing poses or to be able to get their foot behind their head.
Distractions – Send the kids to grandma’s, turn off your Iphone (even if it vibrates every time you get a text that is going to take your focus off your partner)
Size – If there is a big different in height and weight you won’t be perfectly symmetrical in many of the poses and feet, arms and hands won’t always line up as you might want. For the weight-bearing poses, where you are putting your partner’s weight on top of yours ( such as a hand-stand on top of your partner’s downdog) For some of the other balancing poses where you are leaning back, the heavier partner should let the lighter partner lean back first to not throw them off balance.
Acceptance – Are you able to let go of the need to do the pose just like on the cover of Yoga Journal? Can you be accepting of your partner’s inability to do the full expression of the pose.
Synchronicity – Yoga is not just about stretching…otherwise it’s just calisthenics. Put more emphasis on coordinating the rise and fall of your breath with your partner, especially in the seated poses and you will feel more in sync with them.
Non-Verbal Communication – Some of the poses you will be back to back and if you have some discomfort and you need to readjust and don’t want to have to talk to loudly in the session, you can tap your fingers on them or squeeze their hand to let them know that something needs to be altered in the pose.
Intimacy Ideas for Couples – Practicing Yoga Together
What kinds of special activities do you do with your sweetie to stay soulfully connected? Post your answers on our Facebook page.
by Jasmine | Apr 4, 2012 | Couples Yoga, eStore, Reviews
Music for Yoga CD at Intimate Retreats for Couples
In a yoga class setting up a scene with lights, music and space is such a key part of the experience. Before considering a space to teach a retreat at I look at the lighting pretty carefully. I also plan out the music carefully as well It really takes you to a sacred place and I tend to get all flustered is my sound system is not working. Whenever I am teaching at a new place or subbing I make sure to spend awhile understanding how their music system works. Just last week I used a new CD player and accidentally had the song on repeat. Since we were in the middle of a couples yoga massage sequence, I couldn’t change the music without disrupting the couples since the CD player was right next to them. It was not one of my best classes.
I actually have two CDs playing at our retreats. I have one in the reception area that is kind of funky so they know they are in for an adventure and then in the actual practice room another CD that is more tranquil.
Shamanic Dream – When I play this in my classes, I almost always get a student come up and ask me what the CD is. It is hypnotic, ambient and a bit tribal all at the same time but with a fairly even tone. I teach a lot of couples yoga classes and I usually play this at the end so people can drop into a very deep space when the lights are very low. This will transport you both
Dessert Dwellers – One of my students suggested this to me a awhile ago. I tend to have a lot of CDs that are not just Sankrit chants and Ooommming. I don’t like to have too many vocals on my music since that tends to be distracting and like to have the music be pretty clean sounding. I like the chill, funky vibe but the tone is even enough to play in a class. A fine one to play at your next cocktail party.
Snautam Kaur – Don’t let her turban scare you. She does a few songs in English as well. I discovered her when I was at the Omega Institute years ago. She was part of the Ecstatic Chant weekend. What a line-up they had! She has a voice like an angel and you can feel her soul into all of her chants. This is one of the CDs that my yoga students ask me about the most in my yoga class. I often chant some of her songs while I am driving in my car and going through “stuff”.
Rain – Another CD you won’t usually find on your top ten yoga music CDs. This is acoustic guitar and piano and I remember playing this when I driving around in the mountains of New England during the changing of the leaves. I still see the bright orange colors, and brilliant reds whenever I listen to this. The music just matched the mood so well – melancholically beautiful.
Wah!– The ! is not a typo. I’ve seen her play a few times and it always shocks me that she is is not in bigger venues (she usually leads a Kirtan at a yoga studio) I actually went to one of her events at she was leading a somewhat unsual and at times bizzare yoga class. I fa chanting Indian guru and Natalie Merchant had a baby then this is who they would create. I discovered her when I was working at the Chopra shop in California a few years ago. We used to play her CDs in the store to give it a Chopra vibe.
Couples Yoga Workshop
Le Spa Sonique – Don’t let the lavenders flowers scare you. This had a chill kind of vibe to it, sweet, sultry and sexy. I think I discovered this at Kripalu a few years ago.The beat can be a bit funky and might not work that well during shivasana. This is a great CD to play for a a lounge-y cocktail hour.
Deva Premal & Mitten I don’t think you can call yourself a serious yoga student unless you have at least 2 of their CDs. Deva’s voice is like an angel and their tunes are soulful and sensual. I still remember the first time I heard their music at a tantra workshop. I get plenty of students that come up to me after class asking what the music is. I remember the first time I went to one of their concerts. They think of their concerts more like a community getting together and singing…very interactive and the way that they lead some of the mantras you’ll feel incredibly connected to the ether of the universe.
Krishna Das – He is the Bruce Springsteen of Kirtan. (group chant) scene. I saw him perform at the same ecstatic chant weekend at the Omega Institute a few years ago. His songs are in Sankrit which might turn off some of you (or could turn you on…everybody’s different). His CDs are work well in any yoga class but buy a ticket to one of his live shows and watch yogis jump and twirl around in. Quite the spectacle…. and you’ll find yourself hopping and jumping as well.
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by Jasmine | Apr 4, 2012 | Couples Retreat, Couples Yoga, Date Night, Romantic Date Ideas, Spirituality, Yoga DVDs, & Podcasts
Partner Yoga For Couples at a Retreat Center near Philadelphia in West Chester
The past few Valentine’s day weekend, we decided to host a partner yoga for couples workshop at a retreat center near Philadelphia in West Chester called Temenos, which is about 40 minutes outside of the city. We were looking for a retreat space that was small, intimate and cozy since we didn’t want it to be a huge group. Partner yoga for couples is a very bonding and buoyant practice and it works well whether you are very athletic and a seasoned yoga practitioner or if you are out of shape or limited with injuries.
I am always pleasantly surprised by who shows up for our classes. When we first started to have our events, I thought it would be hippie, crunchy people that were really into the yoga lifestyle that would show up. I thought it would be people that attended yoga classes on a regular basis or people that had a regular spiritual practice such as Qigong or meditation. Instead, I find people that are more often than not without a regular practice and want to explore their spirituality and connect with their significant other as well.
We aim to present our classes and workshops as welcoming to yoga newbies ( or yoga virgins as we call them) and encourage beginners and the stiff and inflexible to come to our events. Some people, especially the guys, are a little intimidated and scared of yoga. They worry that they are going to end up wearing a loincloth or having to attempt to contort their bodies into ridiculous position a la Cirque Du Soleil.
We have had quite an array or people come into the class. We have had military guys, IT guys, a professional football player, construction guys, doctors, nurses and a few yoga teachers as well.
Instead, we start off each class with a grounding and centering exercise where we establish some communications guidelines and go over boundaries and pushing into other past our limits of comfort and flexibility. Then the next part of the retreat, we start to do some simple movements while seated on the floor. It’s usually a simple movement such as raising your arms together in devotion and then your hands our coming back in tandem together. I like to start off with a very simple pose so that it puts everyone at ease.
Often the next move after this is something that will make people laugh and giggle such as bicycle so that people can start warming up their bodies. We encourage people to be playful and creative with this movement and since their toes our interlocking at this point we encourage people to “make-out with their toes” so that people can start to feel more romantic towards each other.
We then usually go into more challenging poses which are some standing poses. Depending on how athletic the group is, we might do a more challenging pose which requires more core strength and flexibility. The couples are often a bit anxious on some of the balancing poses, especially those that are weight bearing and you are trusting your partner to hold all of your weight and not let you fall on the floor. This part of the class produces some adrenaline and confidence. Having a bit of danger and adventure for a couples help to heighten sexual arousal so we always include a bit of this.
Couples Yoga Moves for Beginners or Seasoned Yogis
Then we have a transitional restorative pose to help calm everyone and have them drop down into a more tranquil space. After the restorative pose, we go into the massage part of the class. The massage part of the class is more about intention and we don’t emphasize technique or skill so much.
After the massage part we have a nice juicy-spooning and cuddling shavasana and then we close the class and everyone usually is completely blissed out at this point. We send our students off and encourage them to have wine, herbal tea, soft music and candles so they can start in this peaceful state. Some people say it is like a tantra workshop but we don’t use that word to describe it since it has such a negative connotation these days and don’t want people to get the wrong idea.
Here are my reviews: Couple Yoga DVDs and Book Reviews – Buoyant Bonding Tips at Home
by Jasmine | Mar 30, 2012 | Couples Yoga, Date Night, Yoga DVDs, & Podcasts
Couples Yoga Poses
If you are sick of sitting on your couch and deciding whether to watch Dancing with the Starts or Jersey Shore together then connect soulfully and playfully with your sweetie with couples yoga poses. No need to be a contortionist or wear a loin cloth, these are poses that all body types, from the unathletic and inactive to the stiff and inflexible can do. Remember that it is yoga practice and not yoga perfect so let go of the need to do the pose perfectly. You’re not going to be photographed for the cover of YogaJournal so let go of expectations and judgements that you might have for yourself and for your partner.
Start by sitting back to back in a comfortable cross-legged position and just start to notice your breathing. Then start to notice the rise and fall of your partner’s breath. See if you can can synchronize your breathing pattern with your partner’s breathing pattern.
Let your head tilt back and lean back on the crook between their neck and their shoulder. This is a small but powerful stretch for your neck so don’t be aggressive or move quickly here. Repeat on the other side.
Here are some of my favorite couples yoga poses.
Standing up grab onto your partner right forearm and start to walk your feet towards then and then start to lean away. Reach your left arm up into the arm behind you and lean back. Men should let the women lean back first and then modulate your weight around her so she can be balanced. Come back to center and change arms and repeat on the other side. Do this sequence a few times and you will start to be able to lean back farther. This pose almost feels like you are flying if you can lean back far enough. You’ll start to trust and find your partner trusting you more with their body in this pose. It’s a very liberating pose.
Be seated on the floor facing your partner. Have your legs bent with your feet on the floor. Grab onto their hands or forearms with a firm grip. Have your legs inside of your arms at first. Press the soles of your feet together and press them straight up into the sky for boat pose. You might have your legs bent here and if there is a big leg length discrepancy then you might have your feet on their calves.
For the next variation of this pose, have your legs outside of your arms but close to your arms. If you legs are farther away then this probably will not end up feeling too good for your hips. Press the soles of your feet together so and extend your legs straight up into the ceiling. Keep your legs near your arms. If you want a more advanced variation then grab your right hand to their right hand and reach back with your left arm. Bring your left arms to their left arm, get a nice firm grip and reach back with your right arm. This is a challenging pose but most people can do this pose if they don’t overthink it.
For DVDs of my favorite couples yoga and partner yoga moves, read this blog post.
Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many budget couples retreats near Philadelphia as well as romantic poses for couples and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.
