by Jasmine | Jan 7, 2013 | Couples Yoga, eBooks, Fifty Shades of Grey, How To Keep The Intimacy Alive
My review of Fifty Shades of Grey
Taking a break from my normal posts about yoga, wellness and other things holistic to talk about my new obsession which I share with about 35 million other people in dozens of other countries – Fifty Shades of Grey.
I’ve heard a lot about this book the last year and no doubt you have unless you were living in a tent in the Himlayas with no WIFI or contact with any other human being on the current planet. I remember my friend a year ago was telling me about the book and I he could say all flushed and fevered looking was ” That book…. WOW!” No much of a review and it didn’t really sell me on it.
So how did I end up buying this book? I wasn’t seeking out to read it. These days, most the books I read are non-fiction about business, marketing, yoga, health and wellness. We had just bought some stuff on Amazon and the total was $42. The shipping was about $16 unless your order total was $50 so I looked at the cost of the book, I needed something to read on the airplane for my flight out to San Diego anyway and found it for $8. I didn’t think much of it and I wasn’t even that excited about starting to read it.
So about 3 weeks later I started it on my return flight from Philadelphia to San Diego, I actually had forgotten about it on my outward bound flight. What a flight that was. Even the whining and screaming of obnoxious toddlers on the plane couldn’t get distracted. I was sitting next to a conservative looking woman on the first leg of my flight and for the second leg was seated next to a young man in his late 20s. I felt kind of strange reading this book next to a strange man, I kept worrying that he would start to read my book along with me but it was too engrossing to put down or to care what anyone else thought.
What is it about this book with it’s kinky sex acts and with taboo subjects like bondage, submission, corporal punishment, enslavement, sadism, loss of innocence, and masochism that gets your soccer mom’s panties all in a twist? When I put the book down for brief moments I felt myself completely lost in the Anastasia’s and Christian world, jet-setting, fine dining, private jets, masquerade balls in Seattle.
Who wouldn’t want to be the innocent and beguiling Anastasia Steele who utterly captivates the untamed and devilish billionaire Tycoon Christian Grey? What would that be like to have a strapping 27 year old with abs and eyes like Ryan Gosling (I vote for him to play him in the movie) courting, protecting, spoiling and obsessing over them? What would that be like to have someone make sure all of your needs from your physical fitness needs in the form of setting up a personal trainer, your transport needs (a new Audi? Guten Tag!) , personal beauty services arranged (waxing and haircuts at the privacy of your home arranged) as well as the finest and most expensive haute couture fashion bought for you (without you even having to go out and buy it…. the personal shopper comes to you) as well as having 24 hour security keeping you out of harm’s way?
It’s all the trappings of wealth, power and status that attracts Ana to Christian but his dark past and obsessive jealous also suffocates her.
I am about midway through the trilogy. I have finished the first book and am about half way through the second book. I’m sure a few days from now I will be half way through the third book.
Would it be worth it to you to lose your independence, sense of self and loss of boundaries of personal and emotional space to have an obsessive, dark, demonic, torrid, all-engrossing and completely overwhelming and insanely jealous life long love affair like Anastasia and Christian do?
by Jasmine | Dec 13, 2012 | Yoga Book Reviews
Garden State Yogi Book Review
I don’t read much fiction these days…. most of the stuff I read are various articles about yoga, Facebook posts, Inc Magazine, various magazines in my doctors reception areas and the Huffington Post (which I can’t seem to get enough of). Reading non-fiction books or autobiographical tales is not my thing these days…. I used to be a voracious reader of autobiographical tales but not the last decade or two.
I had a long plane ride from Philadelphia to San Diego yesterday and decided to bring Brian Leaf’s Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi along for the ride. It’s amazing how many people don’t bring reading material on a long plane ride and read the Sky Mall catalog for entertainment. Whatever happened to movies on a plane?
As a yoga teacher, I read this book with different eyes since I feel a greater responsibility of the impact of my teachings, both in terms of the impact it has on them emotionally and also physically in terms of helping break apart deeply embedded patterns of tension and tightness as well as limiting beliefs about what is going on in their lives. Brian’s journey into holistic health and spirituality let me reminisce on my own discoveries.
Imagine if Luke Skywalker, Jerry Seinfeld, Elizabeth Gilbert and Mike Myers all contributed some DNA and produced a baby together. That baby would grow up in New Jersey and one day decide to go on a cross-country hippie flavored road trip complete with a visits to Ashrams, White Sands New Mexico, a Grateful Dead concert and naked hot springs. After their cross-country trek Leaf decides to immerse himself a Kripalu-inspired existence. That is the narrative that’s comes to mind in this misadventure full of chuckles, hmmmm, giggles, ah-ha moments sprinkled with plenty of ooommming. Esoteric practices like Ayurveda he demystifies to help him curb his anxiety, colitis and ADD with resolve, discipline and panache.
Brian Leaf takes you on a hippy-flavored adventure
Brian shows us that being spiritual is not exclusive to being goofy and entertaining. If the thought of sitting in silence while connecting to the ether of the universe sounds pretentious then let Senor Leaf show you a world of namastes, accidental happy-ending massages and poop-and-runs with its shimmers of inner-wisdom and soul searching.
So have you read any tales like this or did you read the book? What were your thoughts on it?
by Jasmine | Nov 21, 2012 | Beginner Yoga
Yoga Etiquette for Beginner Students
I can still remember my first time. My friend brought me to a yoga studio almost two decades ago and I was not given any pointers on how to behave or act during the yoga class.
Here is a list of Top Things to keep in mind for beginner yoga students.
Yoga Etiquette for Beginner Students
Turn Your Cell Phone Off.
Where in your cell phone manual does it say that you have to be available to answer every call or text that comes in? Isn’t that what voice-mail is for? If it’s important they will leave a message. Oh, this also means that you shouldn’t have it on vibrate. When it is during a quiet part of the class then we can all hear the buzzing from your phone… equally annoying.
Don’t Come to Class All Stinky.
I realize you are probably going to sweat a bit. Oh, if you don’t wear deodorant for ethical, environmental reasons please just stay at the other end of the class, preferably near the window. The one exception to the stinky rule is if you are going to a Bikram class. The room and everyone in it will pretty much smell like Ebola 90 seconds after entering.
Don’t Hog Mat Space.
You probably came with a gym bag, purse, maybe a towel to shower in afterwards but you don’t need to set up a small refugee camp right near your mat. The only thing you might need near your mat are keys, wallet, water and maybe a few yoga props such as blocks, a strap and a bolster. You can leave your overnight bag outside the room.
Take Your Shoes Off
In most eastern and Asian countries, it is a sign of reverence and respect to take your shoes off when entering a home or temple. You can also leave your shoes outside the room also. Unless you are in an urban area where people from the street came easily come in you can probably leave your shoes outside as well.
Don’t Come Late
Traffic was terrible wasn’t it? What do you think the rest of us did…. take a chopper to get here? We all have to deal with traffic, parking or subways, buses trains etc. If the weather is cranky then factor that in. How annoying is it when you are starting to meditate or get in touch with your deep inner wisdom when you hear a loud sticky mat unrolling, keys dropping, velcro unfastening right next to you? I know I supposed to feel all compassionate and enlightened during my practice but when an inconsiderate poo-head starts to be all noisy next to me then I just want to clock them in the face.
Be Considerate During Meditation in Yoga
If You Come Late, Be Quiet
If you glossed over my rant before, then maybe you can read this one. If you do come late because there was a Presidential event that shut down all the major roads and highways then wait until an appropriate moment to set up. Here are examples of inappropriate moments – When we are meditating, when we are ooohhming and when we are in a restorative pose. If we are moving around with our eyes open then that is a good moment to set up.
Don’t Leave During Shivasana
The corollary to coming late is leaving early during the relaxation part of class. If you do have to leave early then you should let the teacher know beforehand ( unless an injury came up) and leave during a more active part of the class. Please don’t leave when we all are drifting deep into our third eye during Shavasana or Pranayama ( controlled breathing exercises.)
Don’t Fart in Class.
We realize you don’t do this on purpose so ways to avoid this are to not eat a heavy meal before class. Avoid cheesecake, lasagne and a hot fudge sundae right before. If you are going to eat before a grilled chicken salad or a handful of almonds will help. Some poses ( like when you are hugging your knees into your chest) tend to make this happen so go into these more mindfully to avoid blast-off.
Don’t Stare at Other Students
Especially for dudes… just because we are wearing tight Lycra shiny pants and a crop top. When we are on all fours or any pose where you can see some cleavage or a good booty shot then don’t be Clarence Thomas. Think of our bodies like a solar eclipse… get a glimpse of it (try to hide that) but avert your eyes.
So what do you think of students that ignore yoga etiquette for beginner classes?
by Jasmine | Nov 19, 2012 | Family Counseling, Romantic Date Ideas
Keeping the Passion and Intimacy in Marriage.
Keeping the Passion and Intimacy Alive in Marriage
I was reading this article in Prevention Magazine about 10 ways to stay connected and wanted to also write my own version of this and add comments of things we do to keep things saucy.
- Doing these outside of your normal routine. I think Michael and I like to always mix it up with a new event. One weekend might be a Jazz Festival, the next one might be a tour of wineries and then he might drag me to a cheese tasting (even though dairy hates me). Our couples yoga we do every Friday night in Philadelphia ( Manayunk) is a way for us to offer an adventurous date night to couples we ever met. Our first unofficial date was watching fireflies on a hammock on a warm summer night outside of New York city in Rheinbeck, NY. Our next more official date after we had lunch in the East Village and then I took him to an acrobatic yoga class in Central Park. In the acro class we were hanging upside like fruit bats and our partners were twirling our bodies in the air like a Cirque Du Soleil pro. One of our more memorable dates was when he took me to Longwood Gardens and we saw an ice skating show ( in the dead of winter…. at night)….It made for a memorable night!
- Laugh over inside jokes. I think the two of us have loads of these. When I talk about the time before I was with my hubby I refer to it as B.M. ( Before Michael) which we both have a groaning laugh over. We have funny nicknames for each other, some of which I’m not allowed to say in public. It validates our bond to build up a reservoir of laughter and giggles and builds intimacy.
- How was your day? Isn’t it nice to have someone to regale your tale of woe or jubilation every day? It kind of keeps it alive again. Having this chat every day helps to keep you connected to the details, stresses, hopes, intimacy and dreams of your sweetie. Even if it feels like a cliche question the answer is almost always different. I sort of store of all these little stories to tell Michael and when the events are happening I am thinking in my head…. I can’t wait to tell Michael.
1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”
- Accept that conflict is a part of any relationship. You are going to agree. You are going to disagree. Your partner will eventually piss you off, frustrate you and disappoint you. What kind of conflict resolution skills do you have? Yelling? Screaming? Whacking them upside the head with a frying pan? Name calling? Sarcasm? If yes, then you or both of you need to gain or develop conflict resolution skills.
- Listening intently to what your partner is saying even if it makes your skin crawl is a learned skill. It might even take going to a therapist to gain and practice these skills. Going to a therapist can cost a few bucks depending on if they take insurance or not. How much do you think a divorce would cost you though? Add up paying for two households, alimony , child support and just the cost of moving and couples therapy can seem like a bargain… not to mention all the heartbreak and devastation that will come with it.
- Fight Fair. When you fight do you just list all the grievances of your partner? Do you get nasty ? After your fight do you feel like you have grown and evolved from it or do you just feel bruised? Couples that use “we” and “us” language fare better in fights. Examine the language you are using.
Saving Your Marriage by Keeping Passion Alive
- Couples that sweat together, stay together. How often do you and your sweetie go for walks, hikes, biking or swimming? You can both keep each other motivated, support each other and do something that will keep each other vibrant. Studies show that women who have a regular exercise practice are more open to intimacy as well. How’s that for motivating you to get off the couch and on the treadmill?
Some recommendations for couples.
1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”
Have you been married or in a long-term relationship?
How do you keep intimacy alive?
What are your tips for keeping your intimacy spicy and sweet?
Share your thoughts in our comments.
by Jasmine | Nov 16, 2012 | eStore, Feng Shui, Yoga and Home Design
The image of the Laughing Buddha is based on a wandering monk who lived centuries ago.
Have you ever thought about setting up a yoga studio from the comfort of your own home…your very own yoga house?
Maybe you are crunched for time but still want to maintain your yoga routine or you want the freedom from restrictions and want to save money, headaches, and the hassle of traffic jams. Whatever your reason, it is possible to cut out formal yoga classes and have your own at your home.
Home practice allows more concentration on the internal and meditative aspects of yoga.
If you don’t know a lot about yoga or aren’t confident about what you do know, you may want to take a beginner yoga course. This will help you learn correct body alignment and techniques. If you want to save some cash, check out instructional books or videos from your local library or on youtube. Just type in “yoga for beginners”.
To begin, you can set up your own “yoga room”. This will help you “stay the course” and not get distracted and give up. Rearrange your furniture, if you have limited space, to have your private yoga studio at home.
Keep in mind that you don’t want to clutter your yoga room with too many objects. While a few simple wall hangings may be enjoyable, adding a number of different items to your yoga room will result in distraction.
If you do decide to bring lots of knickknacks into your yoga room, make sure that they reflect nature. Wall decor with nature themes, waterfalls, natural fabrics – these things will help to keep your room tranquil. Keep windows and lighting at the correct setting. Open blinds or drapes to allow natural, soothing light in. You may want to burn some lavender essential oils for relaxation and focus. Also keep the room temperature at a semi-warm 75-85 degrees.
This figure represents the Three Jewels of Buddhism the Buddha, the Sangha and the Good Law (Dharma).
This helps heat muscles and allows you to be more flexible. In winter and fall seasons, do your routine in front of the fireplace or space heater. Hardwood or ceramic tile floors are the best types of flooring for yoga because they are stable. Try to stay away from carpet floors, which can throw you off balance. You may want to use a non-stick mat.
Turn off your phone…. this doesn’t mean putting in on buzzer mode so they you will run over every time a text comes your way… actually push the off button… if it’s important the person will leave a message….you do have voicemail on your phone don’t you?
Choose a time to begin your routine. It is advised that you wait at least 2 hours after a big meal and 1-hour after a light meal. A full stomach makes movement difficult and your body is more relaxed which may make your practice less intense. Pick yoga poses from several categories (standing, sitting, twisting, etc.…) and hold for 3-5 breaths. If the pose hurts then stop or modify, don’t push yourself into pain.
End your routine with five minutes in Savasana to quiet your mind and let the experience and benefits of yoga sink in. This is the most important part of the practices since all the work you did physically, mentally and spiritually needs to integrate and coalesce. I often recommend a pose like legs up the wall, very blissful, especially at the end of the day.
Your home yoga routine and studio do not have to be magazine-worthy. However you design your studio and conduct your routines is personal preference and all that matters. Yoga is not about keeping up with anyone else. It is about being at peace and at one with the universe.
Semi Abstract Artistic Black Ganesh Statue
